lairdmichael

One of the best things in Mass Effect.

  • Garrus Vakarian: All right my turn. What's the first order an Alliance Commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Uh, I give up.
  • Garrus Vakarian: Correct!
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: All right big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster.
  • Garrus Vakarian: Friendly fire. Come on that one goes back to Shan-Xi.
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Gotta respect the classics.
  • Garrus Vakarian: How many humans does it to activate a dormant relay?
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: 602, 600 to vote on it, one to ask the Asari for technical help and one to ask for a seat on the counsel afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus Vakarian: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: You're shitting me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus Vakarian: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: All right why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus Vakarian: So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus Vakarian: Figuring out which side took the hit!